Saturday, February 12, 2005

Queen's Club blues: why SATs suck

I'm not a bitter person (oh, the lies!), but, hey, prepare yourself for a story soaked in snivelling self-pity...

This evening Greg and Lucy Rusedski were on a special Valentine's edition of Who wants to be a millionaire?

Lucy and Greg (from GR fan pages)

Lucy Rusedski (nee Connor) went to my school (she was a couple of years above me). Every year pupils from Year 9 were trained up to ballgirl at Queen's Club in London, the pre-Wimbledon men's grass tournament. The girls would return with exciting, bubbling stories of Boris Becker smiles, Ivan Lendl cool tank tops and metal racquets, autographs, towels and tennis balls - brimming with sheer tennis happiness. Girls in the sports teams got to ball girl on centre court (and were therefore guaranteed to be on the telly with the stars!).

This was going to be the highlight of my school days. Or so I mistakenly thought.

I played in the netball, tennis and lacrosse teams. The time had come when it was our turn to go to Queen's (c.1993-4). If I remember correctly it was also the time when the government decided to bring in pilot Standard Attainment Target tests for 14 year olds in Technology, Maths and English. So our teachers decided we would forego ballgirling at Queen's and concentrate on our studies instead. It was probably one of those brief and easily forgotten decisions during a dull staff meeting that got agreed under Any Other Business. You guess the rest of the story. It doesn't end well. It still hurts.

Lucy Connor met Greg Rusedski when she was ballgirling at Queen's and he was playing in the junior tournament (I remember her sister O being a cracking tennis player, by the way). It's not that I fancy Greg R and but it's the principle that Lucy's life changed incredibly cos of ballgirling. I mean, when would someone from a lil' old girls comprehensive end up happily marrying a millionaire tennis player??! Lines from the Greg Rusedski fan page say things such as

After Wimbledon, Greg invited Lucy to the Champions' Dinner, to which only trophy winners and their guests were invited.

Among the 130 guests [at Greg and Lucy's wedding] - dressed in black tie suits and gowns - were Formula One driver David Coulthard, British Davis Cup captain David Lloyd and fellow player Mark Petchey.

The newlyweds then left together in the vintage Jaguar for a reception at Highclere Castle.

At present they are living in a £1.2 million loft conversion next to Battersea Park.

'Nuff said.

It's not that I want fame, money, a £1.2 million attic or b-celebrity status. I don't even want to meet Mark Petchey. It just would have been cool to hang out with Andre Agassi and be on the telly. Seeing Lucy and Greg just reminds me that I just didn't get to do that.

And you know what really stings? The pilot SAT exams were later cancelled.


At 1:07 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would like to say several things about the last blog pertaining to the Rusedskis:
1) First of all the way Lucy and Greg met is not exactly as it seems, at least that's not the story I heard - Yes Lucy was ballgirling at the time but not for Greg's game. Rusedski playing on court 12 had yet again lobbed one over into court 15 and had to rush over to get the ball back hence his approach to Lucy who was a ballgirl on court 15. Unfortunately due to her slight 'squint' he was perplexed but at the same time attracted to the cack-handed way she kept throwing the ball in the opposite direction to him. Love ensued as only love does - like a brick.
2) God only knows how she picked out this Canadian trying to parade himself as a Brit (I suspect he did so to automatically make himself UK No.1 tennis player by default due to the the abysmal standard of players we had at the time - Mark Petchy a case in hand). Having said that he now loses like a true Brit - even better than our all time no.1 loser Jeremy Bates. How he has warmed to our deadened hearts!
3) One can only assume it to be either sheer brilliance or ridiculously good luck that she should meet such a crap tennis player, culminating in the ultimate 'C' list celebrity outing - Valentines special Millionaire.
4) Worse still to err and umm over the question, "What is associated with a flashgun?" made me hope, nay pray that this was not a reflection of the standard of education she received from a well known Catholic girls school in Shirley. She can only thank the lord above that they didn't have SATs in her day.
5) I would just like to say that I am in no way jealous or envious of this lovely couple. The sight of his ear to ear smile laidened with those brilliant white piano key sized teeth in response to her loving 'gaze' (which can only be described as unnerving at best, ambiguous to say the least, cross-eyed to be blunt) is endearing indeed.

So S, I think you had a lucky escape!

At 7:58 am, Blogger s said...

Thanks for your comment, Anonymous...! May I just remind people that I take no responsibility for the comments on this blog.

Jeremy Bates rules!

Though isn't Chris Wilkinson our No.1 player?

At 12:02 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The reason why Bates is our No.1 loser tennis player comes down to the fundamental difference between him and Chris Wilkinson; Bates came to a match KNOWING he was going to lose whilst Wilkinson, after winning a first round match, would have delusions of grandeur, believing he could win every grand slam tournament in the world. Wilkinson needed high doses and for that kind of illness he cannot be blamed.

I tried to stalk Greg once, but I kept on bumping into Lucy who was trying to leave him but she kept walking in very small circles. I wondered whether this was a unique bodguard strategy or whether she was using a compass to go east but using alternate eyes to read it.


Post a Comment

<< Home